First Go To Where They Are

Some students resist what we ask them to do; as do some adults for that matter!  It’s a natural reaction for some people – especially those who have an Internal pattern of motivation [see June and July’s bites].  A neat way to reduce the resistance to any suggestion we make to people is to go to where they are, in other words understand their point of view, before making your request or giving your instruction.  It might go like this.

Let’s go to the park

I don’t want to go.

[acknowledge their position] I realize that you don’t want to go at the moment, [then suggest what you want] but what would it be like if you did want to go.

Sometimes acknowledging their position and discussing it a bit enables us to see where the resistance comes from.  If we know what’s behind the resistance we may be able to get round it.

Would you go to the mouth of the cave and see if you can see the bear?

I’m too scared.

So you feel too scared at the moment

Child nods

It can be a bit scary can’t it?

Child nods

I wonder what makes it scary for you?

Its dark.

Oh it’s because its dark.

Yes.

What if we took a torch?  Might that help do you think?

Might.

Shall we give it a try?

Okay. 

No guarantees with this of course but I have found that taking time in this way and giving credence to the anxiety or resistance often dissolves it.

This is one of the ideas the we will be exploring more fully in the course in November.  For more information click here.