Learn to love the silences

This Month’s Behaviour Management Strategy – February 2010

When I sat down to consider what to write for this tip I became aware of all the different sounds there were around, despite it being very early in the morning.  The hum from the lights, the bleep bleep of the bin lorry reversing outside, the clicking of the keyboard, the office cleaner hoovering in the corridor, and so on …  which led me to consider that most of us live in environments that are rarely silent, rarely devoid of manmade sound.  In shops there is piped music, in pubs MTV or the latest football match, and pretty much everywhere, in urban areas anyway, the hum of traffic. 

Have you ever had the experience, when teaching a class, running a training or working with a group, of asking a question and getting no answer?  Nothing happens – silence.  You ask a question and no one says a word, and a slightly embarrassed silence descends on the room. 

What can happen if we are not careful is that you can take the silence personally or become uncomfortable with the silence or think to yourself: “I’ve asked the wrong thing” and then start to explain, or fill the silence in some way.  What I do now is use a great little strategy that works for me every time.  I say “Silence is okay – it just means that people are thinking …” and then I allow the silence to continue. I find that the effect of this is to make the silence more comfortable.

If we can become comfortable with silence then it gives our students time to think and takes the pressure off – ourselves as well as them – which usually results in them making a response.

Have fun with this.